by Kevin Burton I’m not going to tell you how many mock fantasy football drafts I have done on Yahoo. Don’t ask me cuz I ain’t gonna tell ya. You wouldn’t remember the number anyway. It’s not important. I use my time wisely. My kindergarten teacher was obsessed with how we used …
Category Archives: humor
First Date Leads To Second Date, In Court
by Kevin Burton The first date sets a tone, a pattern for, in the moment, who knows what. On that first stroll down Love Boulevard, there is hope and exploration. “Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are,” said clinical psychologist and author Henry Cloud. “If you show …
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Speaking Of English, Speaking In British
by Kevin Burton Not smashing, not daft, something mid-table I’d say, to use a football analogy. I thought I was ready, so I had a go, with middling results. Every day Merriam-Webster sends me an e-mail to help me watch my language. A few weeks ago they announced “The Great British Vocabulary …
My Bilingual Doubletalk In Mexico
by Kevin Burton My career as an English as a Second Language teacher came to an abrupt early end one night under the streetlights outside a small taco shop in Puebla. To tell you how and why that happened, I first turn to BBC writer Nicole Chang, who recently wrote about what speaking …
K&J Points: Our Mercurial, Floating Currency
by Kevin Burton I was born in the heyday of S&H Green Stamps. By God’s grace I have lasted into the era of bitcoin. I learned barter by baseball cards before I ever heard the word barter. I used to get fistfuls of Pesos for teaching Mexican nationals how to speak idiomatic American …
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Belgian Pigs Get Their Groove On
by Kevin Burton Animal lovers, music lovers, rejoice and unite! Scientists in Belgium are investigating a farmer’s claim that different styles of music affect the behavior of his pigs. “Piet Paesmans first noticed the phenomenon when his son started singing a tune in the barn during a sluggish insemination session his sows …
This Is One Plan I Can Execute For Sure
by Kevin Burton Not today, baby. Nope. Not feelin’ it. Yes the clock is tick-tick-ticking just like on 60 Minutes. Yes, I hear it. The winds of progress are whipping as usual, making the pages of my calendar flutter seductively. “Got to get a move on,” both clock and calendar …
These Guys Were Really Into Chocolate
by Kevin Burton More than once I’ve gotten myself into a sticky situation and needed rescuing, but never like this. Two workers were rescued by firefighters after falling into a vat of chocolate at the Mars-Wrigley plant in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania June 9. “It’s a real life Willy Wonka story,” wrote http://www.entrepreneur.com. “At …
Words For Real Life Or For Scrabble
by Kevin Burton “Scrabble” is not a German word meaning “one letter off,” that’s just my little joke. Scrabble also at its essence is not a word game as commonly supposed, but a game of mathematics and strategic placement of little tile soldiers. For the words used in scrabble aren’t words so …
Quibbles And Bits: Lawyers Under Oath?
by Kevin Burton Who’s hungry for some quibbles and bits?!… The cat litter my cats use is called Vibrant Life, which strikes me as funny. Vibrant Life sounds more like a megachurch. Vibrant Life a kind of paper litter, which at first did not strike me as funny. It’s more expensive than …
