New Kitties Alter Household Routine

by Kevin Burton    Does anyone make “kitty on board’ stickers the way they make ones for “baby on board?  If so, I might need one as a reminder.    Our house had been cat-less for two years before we adopted 11-year-old Gabbie and 6-year-old Ronnie last month from Save the Kitties, a cat rescue …

Super Bowl III Was An Upset For The Ages

by Kevin Burton    Amble through the archives of the beloved but bloated national spectacle the Super Bowl, and savor a delicious piece of American history.    What we witness Feb. 13 will be a reflection of its time no doubt, a dazzling offensive display like a laser light show, marinated in money, a cold …

Citizen Kev And Playoff-Bound Bengals

by Kevin Burton    One last night on pins and needles.  Now back to reality.    My 17-week stint as a fantasy football owner has ended. Another week, another nail biter.  This final game a 128-122 win in the third place game of the USA Legends league.     For next weekend’s slate of NFL games, …

Here’s To Socrates And Travis Kelce

by Kevin Burton    “The unexamined life is not worth living,” said Socrates, the Greek philosopher who was said to have driven people to distraction with his constant questioning.    “There were times where I feel like I was just out there thinking too much instead of just playing instinctual football. It’s definitely something that …

Here’s My Farewell To Fantasy Football

by Kevin Burton   There was a day in 2003 when I took a late afternoon city bus ride to a music store, just in case.     Undefeated Ohio State would play defending champion and heavily-favored Miami of Florida for the college football championship that night. I needed a copy of “Celebration,” on Kool and …

Sometimes A Fantasy Is All You Need

by Kevin Burton    If the NFL season ended at this writing, my Bengals would be included in the playoffs. They would travel to Kansas City for a first-round game.    Blood rivals Cleveland and Pittsburgh, though they are having fairly good seasons, would be excluded if the playoffs began today.  How sweet is that? …

Feeling Good About Cowboys Cave-in

by Kevin Burton    Eureka!  I found the magic formula and Page 7 readers were there to see it.    Apparently all it takes to make the Dallas Cowboys implode completely is for me to praise them in public as I did last week (“Cowboys Kool-Aid, Bottoms Up?,” Nov. 5).    The most overhyped team …

Cowboys Kool-Aid, Bottoms Up?

by Kevin Burton    Can’t believe I’m about to say this, put my name on it and send it out all over the world:    It appears the Dallas Cowboys finally may have the right stuff.    I got this idea after watching them win on Sunday Night Football, on the road at a good …

“Fantasy Brain” Is Wrecking The USA

by Kevin Burton    Managing a fantasy football team has totally changed the way I watch the NFL. And it may have given me insight into post-national America.    In fantasy sports, you draft and “manage” a handful of players you predict will do well, pitting your team against other teams created in the same …

Fantasyland: When You’re Hot You’re Hot

by Kevin Burton    In Mexico, when I was there, they called it “buen camino.”    In English that means good road, or good path.  It’s what you talk about when things are going well.     “Tu vas por buen camino,” roughly translated means you’ve got it going on.   Singer Jerry Reed might translate …