First Date Leads To Second Date, In Court

by Kevin Burton

   The first date sets a tone, a pattern for, in the moment, who knows what.

   On that first stroll down Love Boulevard, there is hope and exploration.

   “Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are,” said clinical psychologist and author Henry Cloud. “If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.”

   I’m with Cloud on that. Better to keep it real. 

   I have good memories, or maybe more to the point on a first date, no bad memories, of my first date with my now wife Jeannette. 

   And so I read with interest the story of a Tennessee couple whose first date led them to a church, but presumably not to the altar.

  The story by Emmalyse Brownstein is being widely reported.

   “A young couple’s first date ended in arrest after police say they broke into a Tennessee church to play the piano,” Brownstein wrote. “A 19-year-old female and 20-year-old male were recorded on surveillance cameras entering the Indian Lake Peninsula Church through an unlocked door at around 12:50 a.m. on Thursday, Aug. 18, Hendersonville Police said in a statement.”

   The couple had allegedly just met on social media, WKRN Nashville reported.    

   “Both of the subjects admitted to detectives that they were looking for a piano to play because both of them play the piano,” Detective Stephan Fye told WKRN. “They knew churches had pianos so they were looking for an unlocked church to go to play the piano.”

   “Before leaving, according to a statement from the church posted on Facebook, the couple stole a set of drumsticks, four Bibles and a collection plate. The church added that the door “didn’t get closed all the way” and will be fixed,” Brownstein wrote.

   “The church leaders did not immediately respond to McClatchy News’ request for further comment, but their online statement said they ‘have care and concern for the individual lives of these people’ and asked members to ‘please be praying for them.’

   Stealing Bibles? How brazen is that?

   “Stellar” my friend Angie would say.

   Police told WKRN that they tracked down the couple by identifying the young woman’s orange Mustang, which had been recorded in surveillance footage pulling into the Indian Lake Peninsula Church parking lot.

   So I come away from this thinking, I wish I had been a little more imaginative on our first date. What kind of crime could we have committed? Ideally it would be one that explored both Jeannette’s and my hobbies and abilities. 

  My first thought, break into a Barnes and Noble and steal a Yahtzee set.  Then I remembered, I didn’t even know how to play Yahtzee on our first date. Jeannette’s aunt and cousin would teach me that years later.

   A dine and dash? Too pedestrian, although that would have been a possibility. We went to the Texas Roadhouse on our first date. The worst thing we did was throw peanut shells on the floor.  Not exactly a swashbuckling move, to try to impress my new love interest.

   Maybe we could have broken into an animal shelter and stolen some adorable kittens, cat carriers and a bag of cat litter.

   After all the patent nonsense I have brought to Jeannette’s attention for the sake of Page 7, on this topic she would, not, engage.

  “I wouldn’t want people to think that I think like that,” Jeannette said.  

   Let me make it clear Jeannette does not think like that. In fact, I had to goad her to get her to throw a single peanut shell on the floor at Texas Roadhouse.

   The news article doesn’t give the names of the musical miscreants. But hey, hats off, way to write the first graph of your obit before turning 21.

   “Billy-Don St. Pilfer, who stole four copies of God’s holy scripture on a first date in 2022…..”

   Part of the mystery of a first date is, will there be a second.  Will these two be seeing each other again? You betcha!

   “The church said they didn’t want to press charges,” Brownstein wrote “but Hendersonville police arrested and charged the couple with burglary and theft. They are scheduled to appear in court on Sept. 14.”

   It’s entirely possible these two won’t get the chair for what they did. They are obviously multi-instrumentalists, pianists stealing drumsticks. And, Hendersonville is a suburb of Nashville. See where I’m going here?

   This story has got to lead to some great country music. I’m not usually a fan of country, but this I need to hear.

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