Are You A Pessimist, Optimist Or Realist?

by Kevin Burton    I call myself a realist.  I’m guessing most people think I’m a pessimist.    I try to be a thinker, and I run most if not all decisions through a risk/reward assessment. Still, I could surely be true to this while putting a more positive spin on things.     It doesn’t …

A Heartwarming Family Fantasy Football Story

by Kevin Burton    I am 6 feet, 1½ inches tall. My wife Jeannette is only 5’4”. But I bet you five dollars we see eye to eye!    How do I know this? I let her know recently that my brother has a whopping eleven fantasy football teams. This knowledge floated for a time, …

Explosive Goods Under My Christmas Tree

by Kevin Burton    One of the Christmas gifts I was given this year by a family friend, came in a bag with a green and white label.  Ostensibly it’s a healthy snack.    I now wonder if this “gift” was in fact a hostile act. It’s suspicious anyway. I’ve been doing some research.    …

Rubber Bands, An Inelastic Purchase?

by Kevin Burton    It hurt my heart to do it, but I did it, last week. Something I thought I would never do.    Along with the eggs and bacon and paper plates, and the baking stuff my wife Jeannette got, I also, purchased, rubber bands.    Still can’t believe it. But there it …

Bovine Divas Bolt From Acting Debut

by Kevin Burton   Two reluctant actors in a live Nativity scene were on the mooooove Dec. 3, reports Mark Price of the Charlotte Observer.   Stage fright is a thing, but usually not a call-the-police thing.    “One coastal church’s wish to recreate a “live Nativity” scene turned chaotic in the strangest way, when …

A Language That Goes Beyond Words

by Kevin Burton    Surely you’ve heard this old joke:    What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual. What do you call a person who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call a person who speaks only one language?    American.     A wicked, sweeping generalization that. Not entirely fair. But …

The Fickle Bounce Of The Fantasy Football

by Kevin Burton    The morning orange juice is sweeter, the song of the birds outside more melodious, even the cats’ litter box is less odoriferous, when all four of your fantasy teams have won.     This is silliness, even profound silliness, but it’s a thing, I promise you.    Winning at fantasy football is …

Don’t Be A Dunce, Learn This Trivia

by Kevin Burton    Read into this what you will, but the American election day today, coincides with National Dunce Day.    That’s from the mouth of the National Day Calendar to your ears, through me, a humble reporter.    “National Dunce Day is celebrated on Nov. 8 each year. The day commemorates the death …

Remote Adventures In South Dakota

by Kevin Burton    Checked into the Hampton Inn in Sioux Falls on a Monday, settled into our room. One thing was missing.    We were two days into a much-needed vacation and having a great time, ready to watch the Chiefs-Raiders game on Monday Night Football.    The room was nice, lots of space …

Flip Phone Flips Out For The Last Time

by Kevin Burton    When it was time, I knew it was time. I took firm control of matters, no hesitation.    The technological advancements, the conveniences, the newly-allowed mobility, all these things and more brought me to the decision to scrap my flip phone and begin using my I-phone Thursday.     In the end, …