by Kevin Burton One of the Christmas gifts I was given this year by a family friend, came in a bag with a green and white label. Ostensibly it’s a healthy snack. I now wonder if this “gift” was in fact a hostile act. It’s suspicious anyway. I’ve been doing some research. …
Category Archives: humor
Rubber Bands, An Inelastic Purchase?
by Kevin Burton It hurt my heart to do it, but I did it, last week. Something I thought I would never do. Along with the eggs and bacon and paper plates, and the baking stuff my wife Jeannette got, I also, purchased, rubber bands. Still can’t believe it. But there it …
Bovine Divas Bolt From Acting Debut
by Kevin Burton Two reluctant actors in a live Nativity scene were on the mooooove Dec. 3, reports Mark Price of the Charlotte Observer. Stage fright is a thing, but usually not a call-the-police thing. “One coastal church’s wish to recreate a “live Nativity” scene turned chaotic in the strangest way, when …
A Language That Goes Beyond Words
by Kevin Burton Surely you’ve heard this old joke: What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual. What do you call a person who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call a person who speaks only one language? American. A wicked, sweeping generalization that. Not entirely fair. But …
The Fickle Bounce Of The Fantasy Football
by Kevin Burton The morning orange juice is sweeter, the song of the birds outside more melodious, even the cats’ litter box is less odoriferous, when all four of your fantasy teams have won. This is silliness, even profound silliness, but it’s a thing, I promise you. Winning at fantasy football is …
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Don’t Be A Dunce, Learn This Trivia
by Kevin Burton Read into this what you will, but the American election day today, coincides with National Dunce Day. That’s from the mouth of the National Day Calendar to your ears, through me, a humble reporter. “National Dunce Day is celebrated on Nov. 8 each year. The day commemorates the death …
Remote Adventures In South Dakota
by Kevin Burton Checked into the Hampton Inn in Sioux Falls on a Monday, settled into our room. One thing was missing. We were two days into a much-needed vacation and having a great time, ready to watch the Chiefs-Raiders game on Monday Night Football. The room was nice, lots of space …
Flip Phone Flips Out For The Last Time
by Kevin Burton When it was time, I knew it was time. I took firm control of matters, no hesitation. The technological advancements, the conveniences, the newly-allowed mobility, all these things and more brought me to the decision to scrap my flip phone and begin using my I-phone Thursday. In the end, …
Visiting Johnny Carson’s Boyhood Home Town
by Kevin Burton There was a time when one man captured this nation’s attention, made us laugh and in a way, held us together. And that national smile began with the first five notes of that song, The Tonight Show theme. “Daaaaa dum dum daaaa daaaa….” You heard those notes and …
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Rage And Despair In The Business Center
by Kevin Burton Dear, gentle, intelligent Page 7 reader, may I ask you a question? What would you say is the key element, all things considered, in the business center of a hotel? What makes a business center a business center? If you were told by a hotel employee that, yes, said …
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