A Heartwarming Family Fantasy Football Story

by Kevin Burton

   I am 6 feet, 1½ inches tall. My wife Jeannette is only 5’4”. But I bet you five dollars we see eye to eye!

   How do I know this? I let her know recently that my brother has a whopping eleven fantasy football teams. This knowledge floated for a time, in our shared space. Then our eyes met.

   No words were needed.  The thought that sprang to mind just had to be the same one that spring to hers.

   One word: “twelve.”

   Yes, I will field twelve fantasy teams next year! Let’s see my brother or anybody top that! And this is to be a shared matrimonial enterprise. The J and I are in this together!

   What Jeannette actually said about the twelve teams idea was something about heart attacks. I didn’t pursue it, but I am sure she was talking about not being able to contain the joy such a thing would bring.

   We only had four teams this year, so this means we will have to come up with eight more team names before next season. We have plenty of time. 

   Jeannette declined to help with this task, but I’m sure it’s not because she doesn’t love the idea as much as I do. I’m sure she bowed out only because she wants me to be fully invested in the new as well as the old teams.  She is that thoughtful. She always has my back.

   Her literal words were, well, word was, “no.” But I think she was distracted in mid thought.  What she meant was probably “no surrender.”

    “K&J No Surrender.” Could be. 

   All our teams have “K&J” in the name because we are co-managers.  Truth is though, there is just a little bit more K in the fantasy effort than there is J.  She calls herself the silent partner, but she is vital to the team.

   I am in charge of the research, pacing and meltdowns.  She is invested to the point of remembering and asking, “wasn’t he on our team last year?” every time Denver wideout Jerry Jeudy’s name is mentioned on TV.

   This is the division of labor we have agreed upon.  She is the team CEO. I am the Director of football operations. 

   We’ll really be operating next year, with twelve teams!

   One of the new names I am/we are considering would depart from the K&J pattern.  I’m thinking of “Mexy’s Midnight Runners.” That’s Mex for my now deceased cat of 19 years and “Midnight Runners” for my favorite song “Come On Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners.

   Get it? Dexy’s, Mexy’s.

   “K&J Mexy’s Midnight Runners” seems too long. But we don’t have to decide right away.

   We have a fun little “band, not a band” game we play with phrases that pop up in casual conversation, such as “potato pouch,” or “funny phone.” I’ll just switch it to “name, not a name.” Think of the hours of shared household hilarity!

   And I guess this is as good a time as any to report that our K&J Sonics won their fantasy championship Monday.  In the end, it would have been difficult not to win that one, as the opponent put up only 75 points in the championship game.

   Such are the vagaries of life and fantasy football, that my 7-8 team that barely scraped into the playoff won, while the 12-3 team (K&J Vipers) lost its start quarterback for the playoffs and finished fourth.  Even with that two-game playoff swing the Sonics were three games worse than the Vipers.

   Nevertheless, to the Sonics goes the glory, and, to me goes the trophy.  There is a place called fantasychamps.com that sells championship trophies, belts and rings to league winners.

   This is a site for certified fantasy fanatics, not so much for casual players such as me. Still, I’m on board with having a look at their selection.

    So I sent Jeannette the website link, just in case her mind doesn’t think that way. I doubt that though; since we are so in sync regarding fantasy football. 

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