by Kevin Burton I actually did this, I promise. Neither Winston Churchill nor any other learned observer from the past, present or future, would have called this “my finest hour.” I bring you this, even though there may be somebody reading Page 7 for the first time today. Sheesh. There was a …
Category Archives: humor
Scrabble Words And “Y” As A Proud Vowel
by Kevin Burton Merriam-Webster promised me a list of Scrabble words without vowels, but delivered a bunch of words (with one exception) with the letter Y in them. Y is a vowel, a card-carrying vowel. The fact that it has a part-time job as a consonant does not change that. The venerable dictionary …
The Unkindest Contranym Of All? Ask Fido
by Kevin Burton Imagine if you will, a Richard Pryor bit from the 70s, that could have been, to introduce the concept of the contranym, a word with two opposite meanings. These lines are from the family puppy, whose usual panting, tail-wagging enthusiasm for a car ride (oh boy!) has gone tragically wrong: …
Cookies Crumble, But Our Love Marches On
by Kevin Burton Late last month my wife Jeannette did something to jeopardize our marriage. We were at Subway and I heard her say to the sandwich artist, “..and we want three chocolate chip cookies…” Three chocolate chip cookies. As you know, three is an uneven number. It’s quite a bit …
My Cats Know My Voice (But Don’t Listen)
by Kevin Burton Researchers found that cats can recognize their owners’ voices. Duh! Why would you need a team of researchers to figure that out? Call me when researchers have figured out how to get the cats to listen and obey. That will be news I can use. “While dogs are …
Leap For Joy Leaplings, Today Is Your Big Day
by Kevin Burton Steve Mingori was an excellent left-handed relief pitcher for Cleveland and Kansas City in the American League. He finished a 10-year career with an ERA of 3.03. I always thought of him as a “minus” pitcher. That means in my baseball board games, if a certain number came up and …
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“It Only Takes A Minute” Has Strange Lyrics
by Kevin Burton We may have to file this under Benign Stupidity, but after (maybe not enough) careful thought, I’m going to do the story. We’re talking 70s pop music as we often do on Tuesdays. I love this band, I love this song, please hear that up front. But what a load …
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Valentines Dirty Dancing With The Burtons
by Kevin Burton This will teach me, always have a plan, a good plan. For my wife’s birthday, which also happens to be Valentine’s Day (Are those wedding bells in my head or a cash register?), I wanted to do something special. I want to do two somethings special, every year. My …
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Wife Carrying: A New Sport For The Burtons?
by Kevin Burton Now this one has potential. On the Dictionary Scoop website I stumbled upon an inspired idea for a new sport my wife Jeannette and I can get involved in. The website called it “weird” and “unique” and it is both. Wife carrying. I am psyched! So fortunate …
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Yum, Yum, It’s Eat Brussel Sprouts Day!
by Kevin Burton Looking for a source of quick energy and nutrition? You picked a great day for it. Step right up. It’s Eat Brussels Sprouts day! The day is celebrated Jan. 31 each year, according to nationaltoday.com. “Brussels sprouts belong to the Gemmifera group of cabbages, which are grown for their …
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