by Kevin Burton What I see 20 feet away, you can see 200 feet away. By definition therefore, I am legally blind. So you would think, all other things being equal, my career as a jaywalker could/should be painfully short, or maybe even disastrously shortened. I was very nearly run over by …
Category Archives: humor
Drunk Raccoon Passed Out In Liquor Store
by Chris Michael The Guardian A liquor store employee in Virginia was startled Nov. 29 to discover smashed whisky bottles on the floor of the shop and, upon entering the bathroom, an apparently drunk, sleeping and spread-eagled raccoon. “He fell through one of the ceiling tiles and went on a full-blown rampage, drinking …
“Bad Hair Day” And Words About Hair
by Kevin Burton Today’s list from Merriam-Webster, words about hair, got me thinking about the term, “bad hair day.” Is bad hair day an idiom? The dictionary says an idiom is, “an expression in the usage of a language that has a meaning that cannot be understood from the combined meanings of its …
What Makes You Think You’re So Smart?
by Dictionary Scoop We all had that friend who seemed to ace every class without even trying. But as it turns out, intelligence isn’t always about grades or test scores. Sometimes, it shows up in the most unexpected ways. Neuroscientists have revealed several everyday behaviors and habits that often characterize highly intelligent people. Do you fit …
Rise Of The Road Dogs, A Perseverance Tale
by Kevin Burton I was so sure it was going to happen, I had the headline written: “Bad Dogs! Cellar Dwelling Fantasy Team.” That was two weeks ago. My K&J Road Dogs, in 9th place at 2-4, were playing the last place team, which was 1-5. If The Dogs lost, the teams would …
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Ten Hard-To-Explain English Language Quirks
by Kevin Burton I went to college to become a journalist. But before I got there I was, briefly, an English teacher. And I had to defend some of the nonsense you will see below. English got to be the dominant language of the world (the lingua franca for aviation, among other industries) …
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Challenge And Opportunity On Sweetest Day
by Kevin Burton Guys, Sweetest Day is Saturday. I am posting this on a Wednesday to give you time to react and prepare appropriately, as is my wont. Let me break it down for you in a way you can understand: According to social.com, 36 percent of sales in the $7.9 billion …
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Now The Dictionary Is Speaking My Language
by Kevin Burton At one of my newspaper stops I was introduced to readers as speaking “fluent Spanish” That wasn’t, and isn’t, quite true. But I do speak some Spanish and it has done me some good over the years. How much Spanish do I speak? I once described it as “enough …
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This French Hubby Got Some ‘Splainin To Do
by Kevin Burton Ok baby bubba, let’s hear you talk your way out of this one! Under the headline “Mislaid Mrs.,” The Sun newspaper of London ran a painfully short story about a Frenchman who drove nearly 200 miles on a vacation trip before realizing he had left his lawfully-wedded wife at a …
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A River Of Words, Words About Rivers
by Kevin Burton Residents of one Alaska neighborhood in my newspaper’s coverage area sought to correct a flooding problem by putting rocks in a river. Riprap, they called it, which is, as I would learn, “a foundation or sustaining wall of stones or chunks of concrete thrown together without order.” From that …
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