Fantasyland: When You’re Hot You’re Hot

by Kevin Burton

   In Mexico, when I was there, they called it “buen camino.”

   In English that means good road, or good path.  It’s what you talk about when things are going well. 

   “Tu vas por buen camino,” roughly translated means you’ve got it going on.

  Singer Jerry Reed might translate buen camino as “when you’re hot you’re hot.”

   Yes, I will get to the point, but first, here’s a promise from me. I promise you I will not bore you with incessant updates on our fantasy football team, the K&J Silvers.

   Promise.

   But something is going on. Something wacky, something weird, something too fantastic for fantasy.

   Something fleeting probably.

   Our humble team, the object of derision scant weeks ago, is now 3-0, un-de-feated and alone in first place in our league. 

  The geniuses at Yahoo fantasy sports who told me I had picked a great roster if my goal was “to finish dead last” issued no apologies. No matter.

   If there were fantasy broadcasters, they would ask my wife and me, “How does it feel?”

   Strangely disconcerting.

   I’d love to say events are following some master plan of ours. But I consider this all dumb luck.

   And here is the definition of dumb luck: The difference between what our 3-0 team has scored and what the winless team has scored is 24 fantasy points over three games.

   My goals for this venture were modest. I hoped to stay out of dead last place and if that goal were met, to have a few chuckles and put the thing on the back burner. 

   This isn’t that. First place carries with it a burden. If we keep winning I’ll feel compelled to put actual work into selecting starters, picking up new players.

   My fear is that in lingering at or near the top, this fantasy business will turn into the pretend sports version of the Hotel California, where I can check out any time I like, but I can never leave.  I will have crossed the line, lost my mind.

   Sunday we went to see Jeannette’s mother. That was good for many reasons, including that it kept me from checking the fantasy scores every ten minutes.  At lunch we were seated at a table with an obstructed view of the TV screen.  Is somebody trying to tell me something?

   I found myself checking my wife’s smart phone for updates. Touchdown for Travis Boyd…yes!

   OK, if you hear that I have joined a second league, please arrange an intervention for me. 

   What’s more, what a crying shame it would be to use up one’s dumb luck quotient on fantasy sports!  I would much rather walk my buen camino in other arenas, such as finding parking spaces near stores, finding the shortest lines in stores, finding my phone, wallet, keys, magnifying glass, the remote.

   How about people getting my food orders right, as I talked about last week?  Much rather have a break there.

   How about getting calls returned, rides being on time? What I really need is for those things to break right for me, not another 15-yard reception for one of our fantasy players.

   But we get home late afternoon Sunday and I see that our team had a five point lead on the opponent. We had two players left they had one. 

   Then I watched Sunday night as our two Green Bay players, wideout Devonte Adams and kicker Mason Crosby, went crazy. Our five point lead ballooned to 52. 

   Just crazy. My brother says I should enjoy my beginner’s luck while I can. So I will.

   No need for me to get worked up though. These things have a way of playing out.  If I remember correctly, my Royals were in first place for ten days or so in April.  Nobody remembers than now, except them.

   When they inevitably crash landed into the basement I thought, if you knew you were going to end up in or near last place wouldn’t you want that brief first-place stay as a memory? 

   I would. Now I, like the Royals have that moment. 

   You know that Jerry Reed song says “when you’re hot you’re hot” but also says “when you’re not you’re not.”