by Kevin Burton
Before she went to bed Sunday night I told my co-manager/wife that we had lost our Muppets of Beepball League fantasy football opener, because we trailed by 46 points.
The opponent was out of players but all our K&J Silvers team had left was one running back and our defense.
This week one loss was going to sting, and stink, because our opponent got 44 points from Tyreek Hill, who I thought about taking, but didn’t, in the first round of our draft.
I’ve spent a lifetime second-guessing myself. Fantasy football has to be the worst thing I could have gotten into!
I was still awake doing the math late into Sunday night, not because I thought the Silvers had a chance, but because some of our other teams still had hope..
Even after Dallas got a 58-yard blocked field goal return for touchdown and a 22-yard interception for TD before the first quarter ended, I still counted the game as lost.
About the time our remaining running back, Tony Pollard, scored his first touchdown I was still doubting. I was “thanking” wideout Tee Higgins for the goose: zero catches, zero yards, zero fantasy points for my WR1.
But the Cowboys were relentless, sprinkling in seven sacks as I watched in disbelief as our fantasy score mounted.
When Pollard scored for the second time, shockingly, I went ahead.
I stayed awake for the whole game because I know that defenses can lose points and I wasn’t 100 percent sure what the rules were for that.
But it was just our night. Pollard even fumbled once, but Dallas got the ball back and I didn’t lose two points. My team ended up winning by 13.
“They straight up gave me 37 points, more points than all my WRs combined,” exalted one fantasy player in a Facebook group I am in.
Comments on that FB post reflected both the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. In fact I have my own sad story. In one league I went from needing Dalvin Cook to score maybe eight points Monday night to then needing 65. But that was in the league I care about the least of the five I am in.
My opponent in the beepball league scored 144 points on a week when most teams were struggling to crack 100. He would have easily won had he played anybody other than us and our Dallas defense.
I struggled to put the miracle into words for my wife, who doesn’t know how ridiculous it is for a defense to score 37 points. But clearly she saw the situation for what it is.
“Enjoy it while it lasts” Jeannette said.
Truer fantasy football words (or life words) were never spoken. All I need to do is screw up my start-sit decisions next week and this Dallas deliverance will be all but forgotten.
Also in the morning after, I’m left wondering if I have a Geno Smith problem at quarterback.
Hate to think I have used my one fantasy miracle in week one, or even worse, that I have used my one miracle on fantasy football. But for now I’m happy and amazed.
I felt dirty and kind of skin-crawly when I drafted the Dallas defense two or three rounds before I even drafted a quarterback in the beepball league. But I believe in having a decent defense. I hate having to stream them For my five fantasy teams I have at defense, Baltimore, San Francisco, Philadelphia and Dallas twice.
Even so, I think of those defenses as contributors, not week-winners. So I felt safe Monday, with a 21-point lead and only the Buffalo defense to worry about.
Guess it’s only fair that I tone down my usual Cowboys sniping, for a while at least.
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