by Kevin Burton
I was so sure it was going to happen, I had the headline written: “Bad Dogs! Cellar Dwelling Fantasy Team.”
That was two weeks ago. My K&J Road Dogs, in 9th place at 2-4, were playing the last place team, which was 1-5. If The Dogs lost, the teams would be tied but the tiebreaker, which is total points for the season, would go to the other guys.
And the Road Dogs would be in last place. Last place.
I have never had a team come in last or even be in last place this late into the season.
Then Thursday happened.
I started two Steelers, Kenneth Gainwell and DK Metcalf and they severely under performed. Metcalf scored 6.54, points Gainwell 2.5 My win expectancy was maybe 39 percent if memory served.
It was like I was dangling by my heels, looking down into the fantasy abyss. And because there are no games Friday and Saturday, I had a good long look into the pit of last place.
Here an aside: Fantasy football was the wrong, wrong, WRONG hobby for me to take up. I am famous for second-guessing myself, (mostly to no particular end) which is nearly impossible to avoid in fantasy. There is some science to picking players but much of it is dumb luck.
The ball is oblong. It bounces funny (funnily?). Stuff happens.
But then come Sunday/Monday, my other players excelled and I ended up winning easily. My team shot up to 6th place.
Sweet relief.
Then this week, the Road Dogs needed 25 points from my last two players, again Metcalf and this time Rashee Rice of Kansas City, to get a win. Metcalf scored 14 Sunday night, leaving the matter up to Rice in the Monday Night game.
Rice stumbled along most of the game, including having a touchdown taken off the board when, after review, he was ruled to be just short of the goal line.
The suspense/agony lingered into the fourth quarter, when Rice made a catch to put me ahead, then scored a touchdown to seal the deal.
That sent to me to a joyful paraphrase of Reds play-by-play legend Marty Brennaman, “And this game has gone to the Dogs!”
So now my Road Dogs, once on the brink of last place, have vaulted into 4th place, which is in playoff position!
The moral of the story is: do your best, trust your gut, never give up, keep the faith.
Also, pay attention.
Rice, who delivered the Road Dogs a win this week, was acquired off waivers when some manager made the incredibly short-sighted and bad decision to drop him. Rice served a 6-game suspension, during which he couldn’t help the Chiefs, or help fantasy managers. So that manager dropped Rice for someone he/she could use right away.
One great tip I got from one of the approximately 319 fantasy football podcasts I listen to, is to always look to see what players have been dropped after a waiver period. I have also fished Puka Nacua and George Kittle off waivers in this way.
So is there any chance I can snatch this perseverance lesson from the silliness of fantasy football and deploy it in real life?
Well, possibly, with the help of my wife Jeannette.
She’s the one who laughs when one of my players summersaults into the end zone instead of just running in and I scream into the TV, “Stop screwing around and get me my fantasy points!”
Jeannette has been invited to help pick players for fantasy lineups but steadfastly refuses, saying “I’m the silent partner.”
But in real life she is not silent. When real life deals me a true reason to pace and worry, she steers me gently toward prayer and calm, reason and rationality. She’s by far the best teammate I have ever had.
Life is oblong. It bounces funny (funnily?). Stuff happens. Jeannette is there, just as I try to be there for her.
All the fantasy teams go by K&J (K&J Road Dogs, K&J Iron Chefs, K&J Oneders, etc.), to reflect our partnership. And so it goes for the silent partner and the nut case.
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