Valentines Dirty Dancing With The Burtons

by Kevin Burton

   This will teach me, always have a plan, a good plan.

   For my wife’s birthday, which also happens to be Valentine’s Day (Are those wedding bells in my head or a cash register?), I wanted to do something special. I want to do two somethings special, every year.

    My plan that involved a museum, a church visit and a short car trip, maybe a couple of overnights.

   I didn’t love the plan but I presented it and Jeannette endorsed it, because we didn’t  have other ideas.

   Maybe ten days later she vetoed the plan.

   I then bivouacked in my office, hoping to sugarcoat my frustration with a coating of sweetness and light suitable for Valentine’s Day. I searched the web for a miracle. I found one at Exploration Place.

   In 2000 the city of Wichita consolidated its Omnisphere and Science Center and the Children’s Museum, naming the new business Exploration Place. I have never been there, but we’re going.

   “Exploration Place is Kansas’ premier science center, inspiring a deeper interest in science and technology through creative and fun experiences for all,” their website reads.

   What they are putting on this week is an interactive viewing of the movie Dirty Dancing, one of my wife’s favorites. I have a VHS copy of Dirty Dancing, purchased before we got married. So I must like the movie at least a little bit.

   I guess the main events room at Exploration Place is a dome with a movie screen on the ceiling.

   I signed us up for this event.  This, according to the website is what we are in for:

DIRTY DANCING Join Us for an Interactive Dome Experience

   “That was the summer of 1963 – when everybody called me Baby, and it didn’t occur to me to mind.” If those words give you goose bumps and take you back to Kellerman’s, this show is for you.

   “Join us in the Dome, where nobody gets put in the corner, as we watch Dirty Dancing on the soaring screen. Interact with the film in a whole new way, following prompts to sing, shout, move and snack your way through the film.”

   “ Before the show, join us for dance lessons, games, a cash bar and more. For all of you Johnny and Baby super-fans, we have a VIP ticket option that completes the experience with perks just for you.”

   “We promise you’ll have the time of your life.”

   Jeannette loves dancing.  I truly hate dancing and am praying that the ratio of movie watching to actual dancing will be pretty high.

   I bought the tickets thinking this is either the best idea or the worst idea I will have all year.

  “You would do that,” Jeannette asked incredulous, when I showed her the ad for the event. I signed us up for the VIP version.

   The things we do for love.

   Any dancing I have ever done has not been described as dirty as in the movie’s sense, just dirty in the sense of “this is making my fellow dancers queasy.”

   I used to tell people I like to sing karaoke and when they asked me if I danced too I said, “Oh I’m a singer, not a dancer” as if you couldn’t be both.

   I was astonished every time, because people bought that. No fancy footwork, but fancy talking for sure.

   There’s no way I can talk my way out of Dirty Dancing now though.  It’s on the official K&J calendar, which just like the law of the Medes and the Persians in the Old testament, cannot be reversed.

   We decided to highlight the weekend before and the weekend after birthday/Valentine’s Day for our fun events because the 14^th fell in the middle of a work week and all the restaurants are always so packed.

   I had the option of doing the dancing, then writing about it. But I figured if it goes as badly as I think, you’ll hear about it on CNN Headline News anyway.