by Kevin Burton
Ladies, those Facebook messages about men not listening, pah-LEEZ!
Completely ridiculous. C’mon.
It amazes me that I would have to tell you something like this.
There is nothing wrong with men’s ears, other than maybe excess hair. Men as a whole, listen more or less as well as women do. If your man is not listening to you, it’s your own fault.
You’re probably not using the right wake words.
So let me slow down just a bit here. Not everyone has the Amazon Echo, “Alexa” device. Alexa and other forms of artificial intelligence start listening to you when you say certain words, called wake words. I go downstairs and say “Alexa,” and that ring lights up. Now we’re communicating.
See how simple that is?
To understand where you’re coming from I went to the website www.yourtango.com. It is written from a woman’s perspective, but it has to be geared toward communication right? After all, it takes two to tango.
The website lists ten ways to get a man to listen. Most of them are common sense things that should work for men and women. Don’t talk while the other person is busy, don’t interrupt, smile, don’t yell, encourage the other person to ask questions.
Somebody please explain to me why those things should be specific to women talking to men.
The tenth tip “praise him” sounds more like dog training.
“As you try to get him to understand you more, praise him. The more you praise him the more he will want to understand you. You’ll start to see how his eyes light up when you bring up the idea of talking about something or – gasp – his willingness to pause a video game to hear you say something.”
Right, and make sure you keep a supply of biscuits on hand.
You can read drivel like that, or you can get the straight scoop from old Kev. Still with me?
OK, so what are you saying to get your man’s attention? What did you say to him to get his attention in the first place, back in school or wherever you met?
Here at Page 7, we try not to bring up problems without offering solutions. So as a public service, I will offer up some possible wake words for those frustrated females, not getting their messages across.
You will need to take these words and make them specific to your relationship. I provide the verbal clay if you will, you shape it into something that works for you.
Try one or more of these:
“Game.” If you have information about whatever game he is into, scouting reports or television schedule for example, he’s going to hear that for sure. Injury reports or the point spread might be interesting too. Just say something about the game.
“Food.” This is a broad category, so again, say something specific that would serve as a wake word to your man. “Food is ready,” is going to work for you 99 percent of the time.
“Tunes.” Crank up the volume on his favorite music. Sing it like you mean it. It’s like a flowing current that raises the level of whatever else you’re doing. You know he’s listening now!
“Sex.” OK, you knew that one was coming. You’ve probably already come up with your own specific wake word. So you think he’s not going to listen when you say that magic word?
If you’re unconvinced, there is this from Joseph Hindy writing on www.lifehack.org under the headline “Ten things men love that you didn’t expect.” Number seven is “we love it when you listen.”
“I mean really listen,” he writes. “You know as well as I do that men don’t typically open up about our feelings, fears, frustrations, etc. When we do it is because the topic is something important to us. We love when we finally decide to open up and you care enough to hear us out.”
Also, Glamour magazine includes listening as one of the eleven things men want women to do more often.
There you have it. She who would be listened to, should listen.
Also try the wake words. You won’t be sorry.