Why Wouldn’t People Buy Extra TP?

by Kevin Burton

   Best-case scenario is we get a good laugh line out of this whole toilet paper thing. 

   This is sometime in the future. The virus scare has ended.  It’s been a tragedy, huge scary battle, but it wasn’t the apocalypse we feared it could be.

   Under that scenario the comedians, or writers such as I, would have a new way of saying something was selling like hotcakes, “like toilet paper in the virus crisis.”

   If we ever get to the point where that can be a funny line, that’s the best-case scenario. 

   But we aren’t there yet. So let’s talk toilet paper, shall we?

   Now I’m a coupon guy, at times I think, to the distraction of my wife.  I have been known to not buy something because we didn’t have our coupons with us and I really wanted that 90 cents off.

   It’s a principle, penny saved is a penny earned, all that stuff.

   But last week we went shopping, did not have the coupons with us.  Some spider sense within me said, you know, we better go ahead and make this purchase.

   At that point the grocery store shelves were not like the ones you have seen posted on Facebook.  They had some product on them.  There was still some choice then.  The choice was, buy a brand of toilet paper not preferred in your household or buy no toilet paper at all. 

   We made our choice. Others did too. That’s how we got to the completely empty shelves we see on Facebook. It’s a very unusual sight, kind of wild. But I do think people have gone way overboard in making fun of people who bought extra toilet paper.

    So you have a situation where you may not want to, or may not be able to, go into public places such as supermarkets, as much as usual. Maybe you can’t go at all.

   Under those circumstances there are items you want your family to have in abundance.  Among the non-food items, toilet paper would be right up there near the top of the list of things you would like to have, would it not? 

   This is not an exceptionally difficult concept to grasp, is it?  What am I missing?

   How many Facebook posts have we seen, ridiculing people for buying extra toilet paper? 

  There are a few themes.

  One is that people are fighting the virus, either prevention or recovery, with toilet paper.  You might see people dressed like Sir Lancelot only the armor is toilet paper.  Ha ha.

   One theme is Coronavirus is a respiratory issue and has nothing to do with gastric issues. I dare say that by now people know at least the basics of what Coronavirus is all about. So that means people are stupid for buying extra toilet paper? 

   Produce for me if you can, a quote of a person who said they hoped in this virus crisis, to stay healthy or get healthy through the purchase of toilet paper, in whatever quantity.

  Another theme is ‘make sure you stock up on condoms too so you don’t produce any more idiots.’


   I think some people didn’t think this toilet paper thing through, or were trying too hard to be funny. Or maybe this is in the culture of Facebook.  Maybe as in the movies, people need to “suspend disbelief” and regular logic can’t always be followed?

   Or maybe the whole point of having a Facebook page is to ridicule somebody.  Is that it? 

   The posts about napkins you got at the drive through and unmatched socks as TP alternatives have been much more helpful. That’s much more like the can-do American spirit I grew up with.

   Above all, let’s pray for the return of times when we can all laugh about such things.

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