by Kevin Burton
I’ve never seen the movie “Wall Street” but I’m here to tell you greed is good. Very good.
In fantasy football.
You can be excused if you didn’t watch the Thursday Night football matchup this week, between two bottom-feeder teams, Atlanta and Green Bay. Maybe you have a life, God bless you if so.
Those who did tune in can be excused if they didn’t watch till the bitter end. The outcome of the game had been decided even if the final score had not.
But in fantasy football there is no bitter end. It’s not bitter, it’s suh-weet! Sweet garbage is what they call it on my go-to fantasy podcast.
I guess there are gamblers tuning in the see the final point spread sometimes. I have no interest in that. But I am interested in what my fantasy players do, whether in the first quarter when the game is in doubt, or on the last play of the game.
You’ve seen victory formation in football? The team has won and just needs to get the final minute or so to drain off the clock. So the offense kind of scrunches in, and the quarterback kneels once or twice, and it’s game over. Except that in fantasy that means a loss of a yard or two for the quarterback. I have lost games before because of kneeldowns.
That was not sweet garbage.
But in Thursday’s game it wasn’t about kneeldowns. Atlanta, surprisingly had put a whoopin’ on Green Bay. The game was almost over. The Packers had the ball, moving toward a meaningless (except in fantasy) touchdown. Atlanta was playing defense, but allowing short gains because it meant using up time.
For me, every time Matthew Golden or Christian Watson caught a pass for Green Bay – cha-ching – fantasy points for me! And I have four shares of Watson!
As the Packers neared the end zone, I was hoping for another sweet garbage time morsel, when quarterback Jordan Love threw an interception on a totally telegraphed pass, ending the Packers-offense part of the game. So I had to be satisfied with the 19.1 points Watson got and the 18.5 Golden got.
It was a good showing for both. Watson managers are happy, Golden managers are ecstatic. But greed kept me in my recliner, eyes glued to the screen, hoping for more. Greed will be on my plate again tomorrow, when the other games begin.
On Sunday, there is greed in my eyes and in my heart, surely as there are pork rind crumbs on my shirt.
As for fantasy on a grander scale, here is an admission.
You know how every year I say I’m retiring from beep baseball but the next year there I am in uniform?
So last year, I may have indicated that eight fantasy teams was too many and that I would have fewer this year. Tuesdays had turned into drudgery as I had to post waivers for eight teams. I distinctly remembering finishing with the fifth or sixth and asking myself why I had so many teams.
Well this year I accidentally formed ten teams.
Don’t judge! Not unless you’ve walked a mile in my cleats!
What happened is what I was afraid would happen. On about my sixth team, which would have been a good place to stop, I had a disastrously bad draft. And I could not go out on that. Could not!
I actually paid $29.99 to Yahoo for the privilege of creating the 9th and 10th teams. That payment gave me freedom to field as many as 16 teams, so it’s a wonder I stopped at 10!
Tuesdays have been OK so far this year. I tend to do waivers early in the day while my brain is somewhat fresher.
This could be a humbling year for me in fantasy though. After two weeks I have three teams in first place and another in second. But I also have two in last and another is next to last. No Kev-managed team has ever come in last and very few have inhabited last place, even for a week or two. This streak may end this year. We’ll see, it’s early.
By the way, I didn’t watch Wall Street because Drew Barrymore wasn’t in it. So why would I bother? It’s like watching a game where I have no fantasy players. Who cares?
