This Super Bowl Was Truly A Super Bore

by Kevin Burton

   How fitting that my story about Super Bowl LIX (59) begins with a tale of excessive sleeping.

   On the Saturday before Super Sunday I was supposed to go to a local butcher shop and get some ribs that would serve as the centerpiece of a super feast. Incredibly, I slept past – actually well past – noon that day, when said butcher shop closed. Missed opportunity.

   I punished myself by not getting ribs from another place and just eating a regular meal last Sunday.

   The way things played out, if I had gotten a meal truly fitting for the game, it would have been Spam and Cheez Whiz and maybe Sun Chips. That’s triple-threat nasty.

   Do they still make Cheez Whiz?  Don’t answer that. I don’t care. You get the point.

   For the Chiefs, the 40-22 loss was a major fiasco. For the Eagles it was sweet vindication. For the rest of the world it was just a bore. As I mentioned last Sunday, nothing hits with more of a thud than a blowout Super Bowl.

   At the Burton house, we tear down and put away the Christmas tree on Super Sunday. That’s an idea I got from my friend Dave Tucky when I lived in Columbus, Ohio. He’s a sports fanatic, even more than I am.

   Actually some years the tree comes down later because the game is compelling and bedtime comes around on Super Sunday without the deed being done. With nothing to hold our interest this year, the tree came down, and came down quickly, while the game was still going on. That made for the day’s second epic collapse within Chiefs country.

   Funny thing about this game. Many people in the know took a good look up and down the Kansas City and Philadelphia lineups and declared the Eagles the better team. Some said they were much better.

   But when it came down to a prediction everybody said it would be close, some even picked KC despite good evidence to the contrary. They said the Eagles were better but the Chiefs would win. 

   That’s a testament to how intelligently the Chiefs play. As a rule, you don’t make any money betting against the Chiefs. But this time, superior talent, especially between the Eagles defensive line and the KC offensive line, ruled the day.

   I don’t consider losing a Super Bowl to be an embarrassment, except for one.  When Seattle lost to New England because their coaching staff was so stupid as to throw a slant pass on second and goal from the one – and not give the ball to Marshawn Lynch, one of the most devastating sledgehammer running backs in history who was nicknamed “Beast Mode” for a good reason – and thus did not score the go-ahead touchdown.

   That was an embarrassment, a blight on the Seattle franchise. Surely you have noticed Seattle has not been back to the big game since.

   So the Chiefs should not be too cast down despite the beatdown, but they better improve their offensive line quite a bit if they want to go back to being champions.

   So the season is over for some, but it never ends for those of us who play fantasy football.  Here are some things for us to look forward to as winter turns to spring:

• Feb. 18: Teams can begin using franchise and transition tags (that is extending certain key players for one season without agreeing to a new contract).
• Feb. 24-March 3: NFL Scouting Combine (where top college players entering the NFL go through a series of drills for pro scouts).
• March 4: Deadline for franchise and transition tag designations.
• March 10-12: Legal tampering window with unrestricted free agents (where teams try to pry star players from other teams).
• March 12: Free agency signing period begins with new league year.
• April 24-26: NFL Draft

   I will be watching probably 90 percent of the NFL Draft, to see where key rookies go.  When the draft is over, Yahoo launches its fantasy football mock drafts for the season. For me that’s the real beginning of a football season.

   In the meantime, Fantasy Pros has its 2025 mock draft wizard up already. It’s not as good as the Yahoo version, but at least it’s something.

   And as for Super Bore Sunday, it has begun to recede into the past.  I’m hoping for better things next year from Cincinnati and Washington, my preferred matchup for Super Bowl 60.