Chiefs Haters, Have Some Wings, Get A Life

by Kevin Burton

   Here’s my super-cordial, Super Sunday invitation, going out to all you Chiefs hates out there.

   You are invited to take all that refs-and-Chiefs bellyaching, and put it in a place where the sun doesn’t shine, namely the Louisiana Super Dome, venue for tonight’s Super Bowl LIX (59)!

   You thought I meant something else just then because you weren’t listening. Nobody ever listens any more.

   I will be fine if Philadelphia wins today, but I am rooting for the Chiefs. No KC is not my team (Cincinnati is) and they may not even be my second favorite team any more.

   I am seriously smitten with the Washington “Cardiac Commanders,” with rookie quarterback Jayden Daniels, my good Ohio State wide receiver Terry McLaurin and my good Kansas State tight end Ben Sinnott.

   Washington played a lot of great pinball-style football this year. Daniels was the QB on two of my three fantasy football championship teams this year.

   The Chiefs have been my second team just because I see them every week.  We were one win away from a Washington-KC Super Bowl, which would have forced me to choose my number two team sooner rather than later.

   Your second-favorite team is important emotional insurance, in case of the collapse of your favorite.

   I just hope we get a super game today. When the Super Bowl is a blowout it’s a real drag. The network can’t switch to a better game, this is the only game in town. It’s also the last game of the year.

   The truth is my fervent NFL scream-at-the-TV allegiance is now a quaint, pleasant memory, like American democracy. My Bengals fever is curable by just the right amount of fantasy points in just the right places across the board.  I’m not so concerned about the real-life playoff picture until the fantasy season is over.

   But back to the Chiefs haters. Just switch up the calendar a bit and we could be partners of sorts.  Sports hate is a thing. If you love a team, you probably hate their big rival or maybe you can’t stand a certain team for some other reason. If you move around the country as much as I have, that complicates things.

   I hate Duke basketball, and there is a special place in my heart for Jason Kidd to this day. Why?

   Kidd was the star guard on the California team that upset Duke 82-77 in the second round of the 1993 NCAA tournament, thus denying Duke a third straight Championship. That was sweet!

   Other sports hates of mine over the years: Yankees and Dodgers in Baseball, Dallas, Denver  and New England in football, Washington Bullets in basketball, Chelsea in Premiership Soccer from England.

   On that latter I took a disliking to Frank Lampard for some reason. No real idea why.

   Anyway, sports hate I can relate to. It’s just weird to have a team I like be good enough to be the object of everyone’s scorn. But enough with the conspiracy stuff.

   “Bonkers conspiracy theories and contempt for excellence.  That’s what the Kansas City Chiefs have engendered during their historic championship run,” wrote Jason Reid of andscape.com. (not a typo, it’s andscape.)

   “The two-time defending Super Bowl champions are pursuing a record third consecutive title and their fourth in six seasons. Kansas City has been so sensational for so long, it’s the team that fans of other teams love to hate. Of course, in sports history, that part is nothing new.”

   “The powerhouse New York Yankees dynasties of MLB and the incomparable Boston Celtics dynasty of the NBA also enraged fans who grew loathsome of their sustained success. Prior to the Chiefs becoming the NFL’s newest dynasty, the New England Patriots were the object of scorn,” Reid wrote.

   “Even when the Patriots appeared in Super Bowls as if they were scheduled to do it each season, they didn’t produce the level of rage and illogical arguments ignited by the Chiefs’ dominance.”

   “Among many NFL observers, there’s a belief that the commissioner’s office actually rigs games in favor of the Chiefs, directing officials to make favorable calls for them. And here’s what’s even scarier: Some fans are actually convinced that Chiefs’ victories are predetermined by commissioner Roger Goodell.”

   “On its face, both theories — for myriad reasons — are laughable. Preposterous though they are, Goodell felt compelled to address the concerns of infuriated fans Monday during his pre-Super Bowl news conference.”

   “Based on available data, the Chiefs don’t benefit from calls nearly as much as many fans believe,” Reid wrote, “or as much as some of their opponents do. Despite the evidence, which is as incontrovertible as it is overwhelming, many fans essentially respond, “I believe what I believe.”

   That, unfortunately, is the brainless mind set of millions of Americans across the board, not just among sports fanatics.

   Let’s just enjoy our Super Sunday feast, watch the game and relax. Haters, if the Chiefs win today, never fear, Cincinnati or Washington will win next year.