These Rogue Georgia Chickens Are No Joke

by Kevin Burton

   You know, a chicken has a mind of his own. God gave it to him and he will exercise it.

   God also gave us Georgia. I have been to Georgia but not to Quitman, Georgia, where as we speak, geese and ducks, and yes chickens, are walking right up to the edge of lawlessness.

   Wednesday we packed up the Page7 motor vehicle for a trip through obscure traffic laws, gathered by writer Tim Ott on the Interesting Facts website. Today we continue, with our first stop, the peachy state of Georgia.

    “The Southern hamlet of Quitman bills itself as “Georgia’s Camellia City,” and apparently it’s also the place where old jokes go to die. According to section 8-1 of the city codes, ‘It shall be unlawful for any person owning or controlling chickens, ducks, geese or any other domestic fowl to allow the same to run at large upon the streets or alleys of the city.’

   “In other words, it’s illegal for chickens to cross the road,” Ott writes.

   Please note there is culpability for “any person owning or controlling” said chickens, not just the chickens. Taken to court on such a charge, I’d be tempted to eat the evidence.

  But no way I’m eating anything to escape judgment on Ott’s next traffic crime. No way Jose, even if it’s hump day.

   In the state of Nevada, no camels on the highways. Can’t do it.

   “You might think this had something to do with the shenanigans emerging from Las Vegas, but it’s actually the result of a U.S. Army experiment gone awry,” Ott writes.

    “In the 1850s and 60s, Army leaders imported camels to Nevada with the intent of training these creatures to shoulder supplies for Uncle Sam. However, when it turned out the camels presented a threat to horse traffic, the state legislature in 1875 passed an act that made it ‘unlawful for the owner or owners of any camel or camels, dromedary or dromedaries, to permit them to run at large on or about the public roads or highways of this State.’”

   I have been to Las Vegas twice, and encountered no camels either time. Goes to show that Nevada is a strait-laced law-abiding place.

   And before we leave the topic of animals on highways, we look to the smallest state, Rhode Island, for another traffic no-no involving racing.

   “Riding a horse is generally fine and dandy across the compact state of Rhode Island, but be prepared to pay the price if you steer that mount onto a highway and get him up to a gallop,” Ott writes.

    Per state law 11-22-11, ‘Every person who shall drive any horse over any of the public highways, for the purpose of racing or trying the speed of the horse, shall be fined not more than twenty dollars ($20.00) or imprisoned not exceeding ten (10) days.”

   That’s kind of a light fine, I say.  And maybe I could content myself writing blogs for ten days in jail.

   Kids, don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time!

   Avoiding this next traffic violation, on the books in Washington State, is quite simple: just stop the car.

   “Sometimes it feels like the world could use more hugs, but you’ll need to be careful about spreading the love while in transit through the Evergreen State,” Ott writes.

   “As explained in section 46:61.665 of the Revised Code of Washington, ‘It shall be unlawful for any person to operate a motor vehicle upon the highways of this state when such person has in his or her embrace another person which prevents the free and unhampered operation of such vehicle.’”

   I spent more than a year in Shelton, Washington, a surpassingly grumpy town. People there could use more hugs for sure.

   Just stop the car though.

   We finish a law I’d like to export from that home of technology, Rockville, Maryland, to the rest of the country.

   “Most of us have unleashed some colorful language when reacting to inconsiderate or reckless drivers on the road, but a little extra restraint is required when passing through the city limits of Rockville, Maryland,” Ott writes.

   “Per ordinance 13-53, ‘A person may not profanely curse and swear or use obscene language upon or near any street, sidewalk or highway within the hearing of persons passing by, upon or along such street, sidewalk or highway.”

   Here, here!  Keep it clean. Relax.

   And whoever started calling obscenity colorful, when it’s the ugliest thing that comes out of our mouths?

   Something to think about as we conclude our whirlwind trip through weird traffic laws. Remember, always use your safety belt. Drive home safely.