by Kevin Burton
We may have to file this under Benign Stupidity, but after (maybe not enough) careful thought, I’m going to do the story.
We’re talking 70s pop music as we often do on Tuesdays. I love this band, I love this song, please hear that up front. But what a load of beautifully-packaged baloney is It Only Takes A Minute, by Tavares.
I have several songlists saved on my Amazon Echo Alexa device including one called “70s.” It Only Takes A Minute is on that list I believe. That should tell you how much I like it.
But wow!
“It only takes a minute to fall in love” is stupid on the face of it. So why compound the error by taking time to write about it?
Well for one, I have often marveled at the level of nonsense that gets on the radio because it comes wrapped in a catchy, hook-filled package. That beat, those harmonies, that bass bottom, they are the spoonful of sugar that makes the absurdity go down.
It Only takes A Minute was written by Dennis Lambert and Brian Potter, partners with a pretty good 70s pop music resume, according to Wikipedia.
“Among the hit songs Lambert and Potter co-wrote and/or produced in the 1970s are “Ain’t No Woman (Like the One I’ve Got)” and “Keeper of the Castle” for the Four Tops; “Don’t Pull Your Love” for Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynolds, “Rhinestone Cowboy” and “Country Boy” for Glen Campbell; “It Only Takes a Minute” by Tavares; and “Baby Come Back” for Player. They produced the Righteous Brothers’ major hit “Rock and Roll Heaven” which revived the duo’s recording career in 1974.”
So these are guys who know how to write lyrics. But this is what they came up with for It Only Takes A Minute:
“Once an hour of the day
We threw at least fun away
Walk the streets half a year
Tryin’ to find a new career
Now if you get a flu attack
For thirty days you’re on your back
Through the night I’ve seen you dance
Baby, give me half a chance
It only takes a minute, girl
To fall in love, to fall in love”
Seriously?
The first two lines absolutely fit the meter, but what do they mean, either by themselves or with the rest of the song?
The bit about finding a new career fits with part of the second verse about reading signs in the unemployment line. But then you have this flu attack, which if it lasts 30 days and keeps you on your back, must be something much more serious than flu.
And all these non-sequiturs bubble up into watching a woman dance in a club and trying to talk to her. This guy presumably has no money and may be contagious!
OK, so nobody is exactly clamoring for my song lyrics. But what is this?
I went looking for others’ ideas of stupid song lyrics from pop music of the 70s. I was reminded that stupid is in the ear of the listener.
Flashbak.com included among its ten worst lyrics of the 70s a line from McArthur Park, “Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don’t think that I can take it ‘cause it took so long to bake it and I’ll never have that recipe again.”
That is one of the most sublime lyrics I have ever heard. It paints a picture of regret and helplessness, achievement and loss, and you can just see the icing running down and then the cake falling apart altogether.
I’m not sure how you can say that any more artfully, but it made somebody’s worst list.
So maybe somebody out there thinks It Only Takes A Minute is brilliant, right up there with Eleanor Rigby?
Oldtimemusic.com called It Only Takes A Minute “a timeless anthem,” which means I won’t be bothering you with anything else they have to say.
OK, wait, the Tavares lyric is “if you get a flu attack. IF. So maybe the narrator wasn’t the one with the health problems. “Asking for a friend” as we say today.
I just had Alexa play the song and I tried to sing along but it was too high for me. I was thinking of singing it on karaoke night to see if I could get through it with a straight face.
So now I will just enjoy it alongside my other 70s faves. It was a number 10 smash for Tavares, great achievement for a great band. Stupid, but catchy and benign.
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