Hope You Relish This Juicy Hot Dog News

by Kevin Burton

   Some things need a day to call attention to themselves, some things don’t.

   For instance, today is national Stick Out Your Tongue Day. If for some twisted reason you wanted to draw attention to that, you need to declare a day.

   The humble, but simultaneously mighty hot dog however, needs no day, in fact can not be confined to a day.

   The National Today calendar says that today (third Wednesday in July) is National Hot Dog Day.  This is ridiculous.

    Isn’t July 4 National Hot Dog Day? 

    And, I say any day a home plate umpire anywhere shouts “play ball” is National Hot Dog Day.

   The hot dog is never far from the American plate or consciousness, so we don’t need an extra day to consider it. Never fear though dear reader, I got you some legitimate hot dog news:

Can Your Dog Eat Hot Dogs?

   According to Reader’s Digest, you’re better off inviting your dog to share Stick Out Your Tongue Day than Hot Dog Day.

   “Technically, yes, dogs can eat hot dogs—but that doesn’t mean you should feed your pup a frank every day. “While they’re safe in the sense that they’re not toxic or poisonous to dogs, they’re not a healthy treat option,” explains David Littlejohn, DVM, a veterinary consultant who owned and operated a veterinary clinic for 26 years. He also says hot dogs are high in fat and sodium, and eating too much fat and sodium can lead to gastrointestinal upset, or even pancreatitis, in dogs.”

Buying Hot Dogs Is A Good Bet

   Reported by Joseph Golder on Zenger News.

   “A Wisconsin man has won over $107,000 after his wife sent him out to buy hot dogs — and he bought $10 worth of lottery tickets.

    The Wisconsin Lottery said the lucky winner, Joseph Bednarek, won the jackpot after his ‘hot dog run turned into a hot win.  The win took place in Madison on March 22 2022.

   “Bednarek said he was going to use his cash windfall to complete house repairs, then put the remaining money into savings.

A Fool And His Hot Dog Money?

   Reported by Christina Zhao of Newsweek in 2018:

   “The Vancouver annual Car Free Day festival was packed with a variety of food vendors. However, one particular stall attracted more attention than the rest: The tent selling unfiltered ‘Hot Dog Water’ for $37.99.

   “According to the sign advertising the strange product, the drink—a bottle of water with one hot dog sausage inside—carries several health benefits, such as weight loss, increases to brain function, makes the drinker look younger and increases overall vitality.

   “’We’ve created a recipe, having a lot of people put a lot of effort into research and a lot of people with backgrounds in science really creating the best version of Hot Dog Water that we could,’ Douglas Bevans, the Hot Dog Water CEO told Global News.”

   “Bevan said that the water was selling fast. ‘They’ve been drinking it for hours… We have gone through about 60 liters of real hot dog water.’ Different variations of the product were also sold at Bevan’s booth, including Hot Dog Water lip balm, body fragrance and breath spray.”

   “Festivalgoers were unsure whether the product was a hoax or a real product. However, at the bottom of the sign, in very fine print, Bevan issued a disclosure which alluded to the product being a type of performance art, reported Triblive.

   “Hot Dog Water in its absurdity hopes to encourage critical thinking related to product marketing and the significant role it can play in our purchasing choices,” it read.

Snip, Snip, Free Milkshake

   Reported by Shira Li Bartov of Newsweek on July 2, 2022.

   A Nashville eatery is offering a creative deal to support male birth control: free milkshakes for customers who show proof of a vasectomy.

    “We thought this would be a fun and unique way to get the word out about vasectomies for men,” Sean ‘Big Daddy’ Porter said to Newsweek. Porter owns Daddy’s Dog’s, a hot dog restaurant in Nashville.

“It’s a way to put the ball in the guy’s court, and will hopefully also help break the stigma that comes along with men’s health,” he said.

Hooray For The Heinz Hot Dog Pact

From Andre J. Ellington of Newsweek, July 6, 2021.

   “Heinz Ketchup Canada just launched a petition to tackle a significant issue that many food lovers can’t understand: Why is the number of buns and hot dogs always mismatched?”

   “Hot dog wieners come in packs of 10. Hot dog buns come in packs of 8. WHY?!” asked Heinz Ketchup Canada on their online petition. “As the condiment that has been bringing foods together for over 150 years, we’ve decided enough is enough.”

   That’s why we started the Heinz Hot Dog Pact. We’re calling on Big Bun and Big Wiener companies to find the answer to this hot dog packaging mismatch, once and for all. We need your signatures more than ever. Let’s change hot dog history together.”

   So far, 1,359 have signed the online petition .” Newsweek reported two years ago.

   “I’m signing this because eating those last two hotdogs on sandwich bread is soul-crushing and bad for my mental health,” said one petition signer.

   And here is the glorious, happy update: The hot dog pact worked! 

   “The Heinz website now shows a Wonder bread package of 10 hot dog buns next to a package of 10 Oscar Meyer dogs.  It says the wonder bread ten-packs are “available in select stores in Ontario.”

A Hot Dog Is Not A Sandwich

   Reported in November of 2015 by Polly Mosendz of Newsweek

   “A hot dog is not a sandwich, the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council ruled after days, or perhaps decades, of sizzling debate. The issue was particularly contentious this week, as some Americans celebrating National Sandwich Day were unclear whether hot dogs could properly be consumed on this most joyous of occasions.”

   “The council ruled that hot dogs in fact transcend sandwiches, occupying a higher level.

   “Limiting the hot dog’s significance by saying it’s ‘just a sandwich’ is like calling the Dalai Lama ‘just a guy.’ the council’s president, Janet Riley, said in a statement. “We therefore choose to take a cue from a great performer and declare our namesake be a ‘hot dog formerly known as a sandwich.'”

   A Page 7 investigation has thus far turned up no reportage on the sandwich status of pigs in a blanket. Stay tuned, and stay hungry, kids!